Twelve!

Snail is twelve, and this is another thing I just can't quite believe.  I'm not sure why, but it has suddenly seemed so significant to me that I've been in her life as her carer and stepmother for eight years.  Eight!

Our journey has not been wonderful of late, because of the story of her seizures and their effect on her, and that we see so little of her spirit and soul shining through (which is the cruellest part of it all, as it normally shines so brightly), but those eight years have meant more to me that I can properly express.  Snail taught me about being a parent, about love in the face of other catasrophes, about the simple and profound value of human life, in whatever shape and form, a deep down lesson about myself, patience, and my capacity for love, and humour, about anger, sadness, and rage, about frustration and loss.  [An aside: I don't think that "these kids" are here for "us" to learn shit, in fact I find the idea that anyone would "send" a person to be so broken (yet whole) to teach me personally shit about anything kinda offensive and selfish, I'm talking about this stuff as things Snail has taught me just by being herself.]

Check out the beauty and love that shines from the girl!  (I wish I had more digital shots of her before 2008, only a few scanned ones).

Snail, aged 4, when I was first in her life as her stepmother.

At our wedding, 2006.

Christmas 2006.

Is a fascination with computers hereditary?  2008

"A Baby!!" 2008

Digging with the Dadda: 2008

Dancing, 2009.

OMG the cute!  2009.

This is probably my favourite photo, the girls smooching me, 2009.

Thoughtful, 2009.

This shot makes me a bit sad, I think it looks like what she would look like if she were a normal girl.

Cool wheeled sisters, 2010.

Yesterday (complete with teenage stylings from Lolly).

So...12, and 8 years as her stepmother.  Just Wow.