Over the years we've come across a few things that help us out with the realities of Snail's disability, so here are some of them!
These plates - OMG I can't tell you how great they are. The bowl is pretty awesome, too. Under the plate is a fitting for the large suction cup that sticks to the table. The suction cup and curved edge mean she can much more easily feed herself, though she does grump about this a LOT :D They also go through the dishwasher. We have two, and use them every meal, they've lasted really well.
These bendable spoons, though we did notice that going through the dishwasher wasn't a good idea, as water got down the handle :( Still, she did handle the spoon well and it's a great idea. We have a fork as well, but don't use it much as it's very large, a bit big for her mouth.
Brolly sheets. These rock!
These are funky and not just white :D I have two, which I find is plenty for normal washing. They are really effective, and save heaps of washing as they protect the sheets underneath. We also have these chair pads, which we use in the car (since we upgraded the seat of the wheelchair to a waterproof fabric, we don't need em in the chair anymore - thank the gods!)
And the waterproof doona cover, which saves constantly having to wash the doona itself!
I found these at a local baby shop - they fit round the popper juice box, which Snail can never hold herself due to her hands of crushing :D They stop the squeeze of death.
My final tip is for carrying medication with you when you have a toddler too. Snail has Midazolam for seizures, and we take one vial with us when we go out. I worry heaps about Lolly getting into it, but so far this has worked. We wrap it in alfoil, then put it inside a sealable plastic bag, then put that inside a zip up sunglasses case! It's portable, easy to find, and I feel that it would take Lolly long enough to get inside it for me to find her and stop her! I'm on the lookout for a better solution now Lolly is getting older, something that can lock, but that I can still open relatively easily if I need to use it.